Unapologetic- Tales of the Original Party Crasher with Caroline Nadine Helsing

 Hello, and welcome back everyone. This week's guest, I have Caroline  and she is the author of the book, unapologetic tales of the original party crasher. So I just want to say thank you so much, Caroline, for coming on and please tell us a little bit more about you.
Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on here.  It's a pleasure and I'm excited to talk with you.  So yeah, my name is Caroline kneading Helsing, and  I'm the author of. Unapologetic tales of the original party crusher.  It's a memoir biography, if you will, about my mother's life.
 We can get into that later, but she was a very unique character.  I. It felt like I wanted to tell her stories.  And there was a moment in my life where there was  no denying that I had to do that. So  but yeah, I'm, I'm just a girl from Hawaii. I was born and raised there.  Moved to California.
 Two days before my 23rd birthday. So  really wanted to get off the rock and explore life and  opportunities on the mainland.  And I lived in LA for  quite some time. I was in the entertainment business there.  I was acting.   I left out LA and moved down to orange county after I started a  pet products, manufacturing company.
Okay. Okay.
So we made a, what we fondly called  doggy wife beaters.
Really?
Tank tops and t-shirts with slogans on it.  And our first slogan was  bitches love me, which has got a, you know, a tongue in cheek.  And we wound up having about 250 different sayings and, you know, matching people, tank tops, and all kinds of collars, beds steps.
So  Yeah. Yeah. So I had that for about 10 and a half years, and then I sold it.  And then  I wound up going back to my first love, which was photography  and  then started.  Volunteering a little bit  traveling around. I was involved with  rotary  the rotary clubs. And  I would travel with these mobile medical clinics and we would, gosh, we've been it.
 We went into the Amazon  rainforest and treated people.
When was this?
This was just a few years ago. Yeah, I did it over a course of a few, quite a few years.  We were one of the last, we were actually the last crew to go into India to administer polio vaccinations via the droplets.  And so. Mexico and, you know, lots of, lots of clinics and stuff, obviously , in  the states as well.
But through my photography, I would document these clinics and everything that was happening. And then  You know, I would also write  and I would submit my stories to the local papers and so forth. And I kind of reignited my  my love of writing. And so this is a long answer to your question, but  That's a little bit about myself.
So that's kind of what brought me into the, oh, we're actually really love writing. And then  you know, in the back of my mind, I'd always, like I said, wanted to share the stories about my mother and my mother's life.  And so one of these moments of clarity for me  was   If I can back up a little bit, I actually have a little bit of a neck injury.
And so every time I would do edits for fun photography projects, I'd basically kill myself. Like it was just,  I, in so much pain  and that. I would, if, if there was anything to me made photography by, you know, for myself, I would spend it all just on therapy, on chiropractic and acupuncture and massage, because I was always in pain after edits just the  repetitive movement for me.
So there was that moment for me that I was thinking, you know, I need to find something else because this isn't working. So I had this idea of this, you know, story about my mother and then when COVID hit, I mean, it was sort of a little bit of a blessing in disguise with them, you know, being, you know, in lockdown.
I'm like, what the heck am I going to do? Right. I, I literally treated this like a, a full-time job and  just literally I just put pen to paper and, you know, buckle down and got it done. 
Isn't it completely amazing that in the midst of a pandemic,  we sat there and even though we had that time, I feel like our creative side really came out. Like we found different ways to navigate that
Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Because I think a lot of us  like kind of went within and you either go one way or another time. I mean  it not just, it wasn't easy, but for me  it was just on the heels of my mother passing. And so, I mean, it was a wonderful way for me to  be able to just kind of make sense of what happened was like a therapeutic process for me to  Just make sense and to understand what happened and also to like, kind of revisit her in my mind, if that even makes sense.
It was almost like all these with me. Yeah. She was always with me like every day. So one of the things for me that was really difficult was that idea of actually being done with the book actually. Not having anything else to write  you know, something I expressed to my dad, I was like, you know, what's going to happen when I'm done.
 It's like, I'm going to lose her all over again because you know, she's something that was the first thing I thought of,  when I woke up and what I thought about other time, because I was writing all these stories about her and then   I, you know, she must have a hand in this.
Cause I feel like I'm thinking about her more now. I'm more busy now with the promotion of this. It's it's crazy. 
And on top of that, having her there with you. You can see, you can see that you're still kind of guessing, but it's almost like she's there still reminding you like, Hey, the story is not over yet.
My story's not over
Yeah.
Yes. And you never know book number two, right? So let's focus on this one. Before I talk you into something else.  Please tell us, you said it was, you know, this whole pandemic was on the heels of losing your mother. Can you take us back there?
Yeah. So she actually passed on new year's day in 2019.  And  again, just knowing anything about her, I mean, it completely makes sense because she always loved a good party. So I said, of course she would wait until new year's and go out with a big bang. But  it was very difficult. For me, we were very close.
 It was set in and yet not set in if that even makes sense, you know what I mean? She, she felt  so it wasn't like he was, you know, sick, leading up to it, but she fell and then  her body just couldn't. Heal itself. She wasn't really coming from  a strong foundation. I called her the bionic woman  because she was always like,  surviving through these crazy, things, I mean, she had a liver transplant, she's had bouts of cancer.
She's had lake near misses on nine 11. Like just all these things she's literally had like 12 lives.  And so who would have thought like a simple thing, like a fall, right? Yeah. So, but unfortunately her body just wasn't  wasn't strong enough and  I mean without going into detail, I mean like her, it was like, it was kind of eating away at itself.
 So  we at, yeah.  I, it's still hard for me to talk about,
No, that's completely. Okay. And I'm so, so sorry.
thank you.  but again, one of the things  I had prior to my writing this, you know, we had all talked about. Wait, we don't really know what her after death plan was. You know, she never really talked about what she wanted to do. , it's not like she said, okay, I want to be buried here.
Or  I want, you know  to be cremated or, or what did that. So I had to go buy something she had said in passing  a couple of times.  She had said, Caroline, when I die, I want my ashes spread across Bergdorf Goodman, which is if you know what, that that's a high end department store in Manhattan. So the kind of tells a little bit about our character.
 And
Very Hollywood. I like it.
yeah, she's there, she was very Hollywood. Very, yeah, very, very, she was like a cross between  Holly Golightly from breakfast at Tiffany's and  like auntie Mame, you know who that? Yeah. Or like  she, you know, she had this list, fabulous flare for dressing. She's kind of like a Moira from Schitt's Creek, like very over the top.
That's my favorite.
 You know, living on an island in Hawaii for 36 years. So she definitely like stood out, stood out like a sore thumb. But, I mean,  she was amazing. She was fabulous.  She was just unapologetically herself, very authentic leave herself. And so, when it came time for us to. Figure out what, what we were going to do. I said, well, she did say, this is what she wanted. So anyway, it's what inspired me. We did do that and it just went inspired me to  and I also had told her that I would take her back to all of her favorite places in New York city after she had passed. She was very much new Yorker. It was very much like her first love that city. She had a love affair with that city. And so that was sort of like what inspired me to take her back, just that comment.  And so it was like this really cool journey that I had  and taken her back to all the places that she had told me about while I was growing up.
 And
What are some others?
Well  I mean, you know, she's, she's on fifth avenue, she's in central park, she's the Plaza.
Oh
 so I write about it and, you know I always feel like it's important to put humor into  Very difficult situations, sort of what has got me through  tough times. And it's certainly what has gotten through, you know, my mother used to get through tough times and she's had plenty.
 So, you know, people have said, yep. When I've read it, I laughed and I cried on the same page and that's kind of like, sometimes I laughed through my tears, so I dunno.
I am the same way. And I tell people, sometimes I'm not laughing. I like, it's just like an instant reaction to it. You know, like sometimes being caught off guard or just being like, well, Like, I'm not exactly in it. I'm standing back and I'm looking at all of these things, especially memories when it comes to your mom or, you know, you go through so many different experiences, especially seeing her grow up too.
Right. And miss Hollywood herself. So I do not blame me there. And I was actually, I was looking at your Facebook and you had put it into really good terms. You know, once you're planning, right? You were planning, you were taking her around, you're doing all the things, but then once everything kind of gets silent, no one tells you about that part, right?
Like the days after.  When your mind's not busy, there's no more planning and there's no more anything to do. You're just like,
distractions. Yeah.
No
no worries. Like giving you a hug or sending you flowers. Yeah. You're just alone with your thoughts. That's when I had my very first baby. Ugly cry. And I just, I dropped to the floor and just let it out. I didn't care if my neighbors heard me.  But that's also coincidentally, that was also one of the first few times where  I felt like I got assigned from my mother that she was still here.
 So, I had the flickering lights and the, you know,  that particular evening when I just, just lost it  You know, my husband had just left for a  a work trip in,   on the east coast. And I was actually scheduled to fly out the next day to take her back to New York.
 But I just, you know, I walked into my kitchen.  I looked around, you know, me and I, there are flowers still everywhere. And  the memory book where everybody had written, you know, about her was on the table anyway, kind of went through it, just memories came and, you know, I started feeling sorry for myself.
I let out my big cry and all of a sudden I hear this buzzing coming from upstairs. And, you know, I laugh now because it's like, You know, those horror films where you see, you know, you see the character. Inside the house and upstairs
And you're like, no, don't do it. Don't do it.
I went upstairs. I didn't leave the house. I'm like, what is that noise?
So I'm, I'm going upstairs trying to figure out where this noise is coming from. And it was my electric toothbrush. Happened to turn itself on buzzing, along on the countertop, just dancing along on that countertop. And  I kind of had to laugh because I thought maybe it was, I don't know, maybe it was my mother saying, Hey, stop crying.
You know, like  but it happened a lot. It wasn't just that one time it happened like often throughout the next few weeks, so much so that I had to get like a new, yeah. Batteries. It just, yeah, I would come home and I just find it killed over on the floor. So yeah, that kinds of she came to visit me. I feel like in so many ways music would come on.
I remember one time I had  I was sitting in my room. And just thinking about her, just kinda, you know, saying, I just, just tell me you're okay. You know, not really thinking anything except maturing, you know, in my head, I like just, are you okay? You know? And  my iTunes came on. I don't listen to music through iTunes.
Like, I, I have Sonos or old school or the ways, but I never listened to it through my computer and that song cheek to cheek, the one where  Fred Astaire's dancing with ginger Rogers. And you're the one it's like, I'm heaven, I'm in heaven, you know, that song. And so that's what came on.  You know cause I'm like, mom, are you, you know, how are you?
And so it was the habit I'm in heaven. I'm, you know, dancing, dah, dah, dah, whatever. You know, basically it was just enough for me to tell, you know, for, for me to get the, the, the message that she was. Okay.  I mean, I have so many just,
Yeah, but those are honestly amazing. I know just like shortly after losing my mom and I was only 13 I had asked that same question, to be honest, I was like, you know, if you can hear me like anything, and I remember going to sleep at night and I always say, I could envision her talking to me and she told me like, I'm going to be okay.
I have to go. But like, you're going to be okay. And I love you. And I was like in the, you know, in the dream, like, no, no I'm going to find you. And then. That was like the last  like dream that I have had of her. So I, I truly believe that they come back and they're like, Hey, I'm here.  Obviously we're still living in the human experience and there's so many emotions when it comes to it.
And I think remembering those good memories are so crucial, and I saw the picture of her smiling and your wedding photo with your husband. And she just was, you could tell. And when you, when you talk about how she usually like pursed out her lips to have a
her photo of her smiling showing her teeth. She was all about cake. No, I'm going to be, yeah, I have this like exactly. I have this idea of glamor and yeah, I'm looking at it right now.
Hm. It was a beautiful photo. Which is worth a thousand words, but your story means more than that. So I really enjoy it. Even just seeing that. And then you have videos of her, like just everything that you're showing and you and her dancing.
I loved that.
I was happy to come across that. It's weird when you like to start packing up things and you come across that sea only video. That I have of her. And it was right after she had  gotten her liver transplant.  One of the many lives that she
So many.
survived. Yeah. And  she was just dancing around the liver.
   It was during the holidays and, you know, we had the music playing and she, we just started dancing together and my boyfriend at the time, which just happened to get us on camera. Yeah, I know. I'm just, I'm grateful to have it that, yeah. I'm glad you liked it.
You know, it's funny. Cause I actually didn't put any pictures in the book at all. I thought it was a  a choice that I made because I thought your imagination was that much more powerful and it doesn't really matter what someone looks like. Right. So  I didn't have any photos in the book, but I do have a lot of photos and video and stories and what.
On my socials. So people have said it's been kind of fun, like, you know, referring to that as they read the book.  So, you know, I guess  if someone who also wants the visual yeah. That's a, it's a great place to go. Cause there's some fun things that I'm, I'm still kind of discovering and putting up there.
And you're in, you're also expressing in real time, like reflecting back to these memories. So it's kind of both, both ends of it. So along in the book, what makes your mom the original party crasher?
Wow. So  she grew up in New York city born and raised there.  And as a young girl, she was  very good friends with  Ron Galella, who  is known as the original paparazzi.  So he shot. Everyone. And so when he was just starting out, you know, these two young kids, right. He would get these  invitations or know about these parties, these, these  movie premiers in York city.
I mean, and they were every, it was like everything from like the April and Paris ball or the, whatever like that, just  Ava Gardner Sinatra, like everybody who was, and, you know, everyone was, was. Throughout these things. And so she, and he, they would both go as a team.  I call them like the Bonnie and Clyde  team of party crashing, you know, and, you know, eating done was by his camera.
 But yeah, she would like hide his camera under the table and then like go off to look for who knows, you know, So she had an obnoxious amount of confidence, like obnoxious.   I mean she would just sit next. Didn't matter,  she would sit next to so-and-so wait for snow or whatever, you know?
And then when she started dating my father, he'd come and pick her up at these events. And then like, you know, she'd like pull them in and introduce them to. I remember one of them was Ava Gardner. One of them was I think, like relative for Charlie Chapman. I dunno, whatever.  So the original title for the book was going to be called.
Harlow, which was the nickname that the New York post gave her. They did a write-up on her. So when she was, you know, in the midst of her party crashing days  they, there is a write-up that it went something like this.  We have a new party crasher on the scene. We, they call her Harlow. She gets in merely by out dressing the other guests or something like that, whatever, whatever, you know, but they call her Harla.
So that was in my mind the whole time. So when I. Writing the book.  That's what it was called. That was like my working title. And  you know, I was, I happened to be talking to an old roommate of mine.  You know, she's actually in the book cause I talk about the different  portions of our life together.
And so when I used to live in Los Angeles, she would come and visit me and she met all my roommates and that was. I have some funny stories there, but so one of my roommates  she, my mother and her used to have a call that temperature wars. My mother was perpetually cold. She was always cold. And  this roommate liked to have the heat on, you know, sometimes.
So I'm like my  oh, star star. Sorry, the opposite. My, my cause my mother was cold. She wanted to turn the heat up. Yes. Any person in their right mind would be sweating profusely normally. Cause my mother would like it at like a toasty 86 degrees or
Ooh, I think I'm sweating.
Yeah, seriously, they, so David have these like little temperature, so like, you know, she turned it up and then like, you know, I hear her door open and her walk down the hall and then like, turn it down and whatever.
So this would go on and on, you know?  But anyway, so I have this little funny scene that I had written and I told her, you know, it was in the book and everything. And so she, we had a laugh together. Reminisce a little bit about my mother. And she said, you know, she was just, oh, I said, yeah, she was just unapologetically herself or whatever, and talked.
And she said, she stopped me. She said, oh, that's what you need to name them. You need to name it unapologetic. So I credit my roommate for  for suggesting that, that title. Cause at first I said, no, no, no, no, no. It's going to be called harlot. But the more I sat with it, it was it's. So her, I mean, she was just authentic and she was herself.
She was yeah
 The unapologetic draws me in and then the, the fact of the original party crasher, I just, and then I love the photo on the front. I just see, I just see it. Like, I don't even know her, but through your words and what you've posted, I can see it. Very Hollywood. Oh, I just, yes. Yes. It's so, so good. So in the midst of this, like, what was your process and how many, I mean, you're digging through memories, right?
So many different memories. Good, bad, happy, sad. All of those, but what was your initial process?
so  so initially I began this  November, December of 2019.  You know, I thought, let me just jot tabs from stories. And I took a memoir class just to kind of get my feet wet, just to kind of see if this could be a thing.  And then through that class, I actually. I was like, yeah, this can be a thing.
I kinda like this, this is, this could, this could be gone somewhere.  And my, a few of the students and myself, we started a writing group group. And  so we decided to  meet  I think it was like, I don't know, at the time it was either once a month or every other week or something. And  I was the only one that, you know, didn't live in Los Angeles.
I drove up there, but I was happy to do it because. You know, just being able to bounce ideas off of other writers whom I respected was invaluable for me, especially as a, a new writer. Well, I mean, in this genre, you know, I'd written before. Not like this. So it was very helpful for me.  And then as everybody knows, you know, March 15th, COVID right.
So we all were like, well, you know, should we continue this? Or, or, or when nobody knew it was gonna on. That long, but you know, we forget let's, let's do this until we, you know, meet up again. Or I live we'll do, we'll do a bit zoom. And  I loved it because, you know, I didn't have  to drive up there.
But  it was one of the best things  that for me  made me accountable to continue to keep writing  knowing that, cause this wound up being like a weekly check-in we would meet every Saturday. It, knowing that I had a group of people waiting for like something that I had written to be able to give me feedback.
 You know, it just made me right. Just made me like, oh, well, you know, I gotta write something and it just, it, I that's all I did. I mean, I didn't, I, you know, I just that's that's I lived and breathed it. So I credit that  that process and  you know,, I talked to  Relatives I reconnected with, I mean, I reconnected with family members. I reconnected with her best friend, Marilyn.  Who, you know, told me so many stories from her youth in particular, in the Catskill days.  Which was one of my favorite chapters to write.  I mean, you know, she just, that was she, would she, have you ever seen  what is that?  Marvelous, Mrs. Maizel.
Did you ever
 Just seeing the commercial.
Okay, love that show. So  you got to see that show.
I'm going to go watch it after this now.
Okay. So when you see it, it's kinda that have that like sort of era of what, you know, there's a lot of  Catskill moments in that show. And so that was the, that was the time that my mother was living in  when she would go up  with her best friend, Marilyn, who, who was  she was a singer and she would open up for all the apps there and yeah.
And they would hang out with like buddy Hackett. I dunno, whatever, like  Frank  no  Sammy Davis Jr. Like, you know, and then I like they're. Okay. But the funny thing is which, which totally, again, gives you an insight into her character. They were like 15, 16 when they met. I think she was maybe 16, 17 when she started going up there definitely 16.
Anyway, she was. Age. Right. But she would, they would say that there were 18 Maryland would say she was 18 nor to be able to perform there. And you know, between the obnoxious amount of confidence and like, you know, the way they carried themselves, they would, they, they would just think they'd be hanging out with them.
Crazy characters. And I think, I want to say, you know, deep down they probably knew, or me, you know, maybe they, people had an eye out for them to like protect them.  But yeah, there was some pretty funny moments as well. I, that I write about.
 So reconnecting with her, her best friend and, you know, and also actually kind of reconnecting with my father in a way, you know, I got to know the, the man behind my father, you know, cause my dad was always very  Private , you know, my parents are complete opposites, so say as I talk about in the book, but you know, mother was very  demonstrative  especially with her, her love and like, you know, you never, you never questioned what she was thinking.
 And my dad was more reserved and  and so. You know, there were moments when I would call him on mother's day because there was no one else to call, you know? And  yeah. And, and then when he knew that I was going, I was starting to write this book, you know, I, I started asking him questions and I was so impressed that he remembered the late, these incredible details.
Like he remembered the color of her dress the day that they first met.
What a good man.
Right. Yeah,  they don't make them like that anymore. Yeah. She, she got a good one, but yeah, he remembered  the song, you know, that was playing when he realized he was in love with her. And just like, things like that.
Like when do you have an opportunity to like, find this up? So, you know, this is what I like. Anyone who is still blessed to have, you know, their parents in their life or, or family members or whatever it is, friends would ask them questions, like ask questions because you'll wish you, you know, you had it.
If, and when you know, they are no longer here. And I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to like, find out. These things, you know, I mean, I remember when I was packing up her things in her and her room, you know, after she had passed and like coming across all of these things that I had found, like LA programs, for example, of, of those um, movie premiers, you know, and it's like, when you originally, like, here are these stories, stories are just that stories are wispy.
So you, you know, you're, there's a part of you. That's like, well, did this really happen?  I don't know. Maybe it's just a story, but then when you come across tangible things, you know, it makes it all the more real, so,
Like sets the scene.
Yeah. And it's like, well, yeah, this actually did happen. Or you come across pictures or whatever it is, but that was, it was all part of my process.
So my long answers to your question, it was all part of the process. I mean, you know, I didn't write in a linear way. I didn't write, you know, the first chapter first. And then the second chapter second, I wrote what  What I was inspired to write. So actually the very first chapter I wrote about was  one of the last few in the book  which was the journey that I took.
I took with her when I, I went back to New York with her, but yeah.  I mean, I would just, you know, could have been from a conversation that I had with someone, you know?  And I just decided to write about that, but I will say that one of the harder parts for me to write where it was actually just the simpler parts that laying the foundation  that like, okay, she was born here.
Her parents were, you know, this is a da, I loved writing the scenes with the dialogue. And  cause it didn't make me feel like she was right there with me. And I, you know, I had a nuts, like I could kind of bring her back to life again, you know, it's words.
That's beautiful. I love that you say that because I can see it on your face chair. Like it's still taking you on a journey. It truly is. And getting clarity through going through something so hard because my, my mom, I lost in 2002, so it's been quite some time, but I tell people. You move forward, but it still feels like yesterday, a lot of times it feels like yesterday, especially some days come up and you're experiencing something.
You're like, oh, they would have said this. Or if they were here, you know, we do like the, what ifs sort of situation. So I actually love that you wrote this memoir because. Just from my own personal experience, wish I would have had that. And I encourage so many others. There's different.  We just write, just ask questions, just like what you're saying, ask questions, write stuff down.
There's so many easy ways to create, you know, sending it in, have some creative book for you to hand down and any of those, because like you said, those tangible things really set the scene to those stories. So I think, yeah. A really good message also to tell others just to keep them alive and with us through our journey.
Yeah, thank you. Yeah, actually, a girlfriend of mine  did something similar  and hers was more like a very thin little pamphlet kind of thing, but  she had written it for her family and she has an essence did the same thing, you know, after I'd started she's she just was like, I'm going to, you know, TA talk to my, you know, my grandparents and I'm going to, you know, the get, and it was  it was a story about her grandfather and  yeah.
So who is still alive, you know? So it was a tribute to him while he was still here.
okay. See, I like that approach too, because then they get to see it and they, you know what I mean? Everyone gets to read it and be involved as well. So with that being said, if you were to give me three words to describe your mother's life, what would they  Authentic glamorous least in her early days. No, she, she, you know what, she lived in this   Fantasy world. Okay. All right. Fantasy world. That that's two words. Yeah. I mean, authentic. Yeah. Glamorous
glamorous.
I can't just do three words.
Hey, that is completely. Okay. So within your process, do you feel like there was a lot of healing
Yeah. I, I do,
and what about your family too? Did your dad read it as well?
He did. He did. And it's funny you brought that up because  if I didn't feel like I got the  permission in a way  from my father, I probably wouldn't have released the book because, you know, like I said, he's very private.  And I, wasn't just writing about my mother, you know,  in order to fully tell her story.
I had to write a little bit about him. I had to write a little bit about my brother, you know and  when it was finished, you know, I thought, well, maybe this was just for me and if it was that's okay.  But I remember, and I actually, I put it in  the introduction of the book, because it was such a powerful moment for me and like a release and, you know, For me to be able to actually do this officially, I spoke with my father.
I said, you know, okay. Finish this book and I'm, you know, kind of scared and he's like, what are you scared of? Anyway, so and  I was honest with him. I said, you know what, you're going to think, you know? And he said, what do you mean of what I, what I will think? And I said, yeah, you know, like, this is not just about her.
It's about, it's about you too. And he just said, you know, honey, these are your memories of your mother. And you've worked really hard on this book. And you know, well, yes, I'm private, but I'm just gonna. Take that into consideration, you know, like I it's. Okay. Yeah. Whatever it was, he said just like gave me the freedom and the okay.
To write it. And then after he did it, no, it's still okay. Okay. Thanks dad. But like God going. When he read it and he called me, I like, I remember I was  out to lunch with  a couple people and he called me and I just started crying and he's like, it was just perfect.  And he's a man of very few words.
And the way that he, he was happy about how I portrayed my brother as well. And   just getting his  approval and confirmation meant a lot to me. So. Yeah.
Yeah, because he's known her for so long. I mean, and how supportive, like seriously, your dad sounds like. Amazing seriously. And just even being involved.
Yeah, yeah. And it was, it was a nice thing for us to go through together as well. You know? I mean, I'm sure it was probably. Helpful for him as well to relieve relive these memories. You know, I mean, I literally, I would call and I'd be like, okay, so how did you first meet her? You know, like, tell me, what do you remember about, you know, so it was kind of cool.
I could assume for him to even go through the memory banks, you know, but yeah, they were, yeah, they were together for a long time. You know, they, my mother went into hospice on their 50th wedding anniversary.
No.
heartbreaking is I remember my father in the back of the car, you know, when we were anyway, just, yeah, he just, he I've never seen him cry ever.
And that was the moment that I first seen him crying and he just, it was just, you know, he's I heard him softly say, this is our 50th
Hmm.
or street. Yeah. So it, it, it, there's just so many heartbreaking moments. You know, that's life. And if you can, if you can go through them with loved ones, if you can relive the happy moments  you know, that's all you can do.
Yeah. And even you just sharing, you know, I feel like I've, I know your mom, like this much just from talking to you and I haven't even fully read the book, you know what I mean? So I am so like intrigued to sit down and read it, and I love that you're keeping her alive through this stories. That's how we've kept so much. So many memories throughout time was through our storytelling  so I'm glad that you've shared them and took advantage of even rough couple of years. It has not been easy for you. And 50 years is amazing for your parents to have been together. That is something we typically don't see, and that just shows strength.
Yeah.
So you have definitely been through it. And I mean, your mom, the legacy, like just miss Hollywood out here.
And then  I remember reading the Myra and just honestly, like just envisioning me watching Schitt's Creek and it was just, just like setting the scene. Like you're an amazing writer with setting that scene. So, so I have to ask what is next for you?
  In terms of the book  I. Embarking on the journey to put it in an audible format. So  that's exciting.  I hope to start that soon.  And  you know, there's been some. Discussion some desire to possibly turn it into a movie by putting it out there. So I'm talking was some people, but yeah, I mean that, that, you know, that's, that's some possibilities for the, for the book.
 I do love writing, so I do foresee, you know, writing something again in the future.  But we'll see for now, I'm just  enjoying this. I'm enjoying still her. Being in my orbit at the moment. And  yeah, whatever it turns into  I'm gonna, I'm gonna have fun with, and I'm going to do in her honor with love.
It's my desire.
amazing, especially we're manifesting, it's going to happen. I was thinking this would be a perfect, movie, to be honest.  I have to ask, who would you want to play? Right.
Oh, my gosh. Well, the first thing that comes to mind for whatever reason, at least in that, like her older years would like, I can't believe I said that, but like Catherine O'Hara, you know, literally from Schitt's Creek, she's she? Yeah. So, you know, I, I see a little bit of her  but you know, I don't know.
 I mean, you're an actress. You would, you could play her
I could play myself.
  Put me in. Yeah,
Yeah.
I think it would be absolutely amazing. And I mean, look at what you're doing already. I see so much of what you're putting out there and it's amazing. So where can we follow you out though?
So  well, I have a website, it's my full name, Caroline Nadine housing.com and that links all my socials.  But if you were just to go to the socials yeah. I'm on LinkedIn.  I'm on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and it's all the Caroline Nadine Helsing author. So I kind of make it simple.
And I'm also trying to convince her to come on to clubhouse so you can see her over there.
I guess that I'm theoretically on there. I just, I just need to get my butt on there. So yeah, I'll maybe you'll see me in a, in a, in a room. Is that how it works? It's a room,
It's a room. It's a room. So you already got the lingo. You're doing great.
Eric.
Yes. Okay. Well, I just want to thank you so much for being on the podcast and connecting, like we met through Megan, which was through club house. Ironically, see boom. And. Just so much, you know, similarities and like the loss of a parent and just that connection.
It's, it's not easy. And I feel like only someone who has gone through it understands whatsoever. So I just want to thank you for coming on and sharing completely sharing. And I see how just inspiration you are about getting her story out. So  I'm so glad that you got to share it here. And I want to tell everyone, please go like subscribe, push the buttons, do the things.
Follow Caroline's journey through all of this and go pick up her book, unapologetic tales of the original party crasher, because I will be picking up one and I will see you next week for a brand new episode with a brand new guest. Goodbye.